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Sunday, March 10th, 2002
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8:46 pm - Everything is so perfect!!! ...well, almost...
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I fianlly finished those stupid green sheets that i've been working for a month and a half sorting thru...I never wanna see the color green again...maybe next time I should claim that I'm color blind and that I can't sort thru green and pink...Alias is on in 12 minutes...totally psyched for a new episode...I got accepted to wrok at Stanford this summer, even more excited for that...plus Jesse'll be there for the last forum...did well on my first major oceanography exam...it's a sign...tony burned me these 2 sweet mixed cds with all these songs from the 80's and 90's that i absolutely adore...I'm leaving for Boston in 13 days!!! staying with Katie should be a blast, I'm totally afraid of the psycho accents those people have, but otherwise, it should be tight...oh and yeah, Jordan and I got back together!!! YEAH FOR ME!!! we had this huge long conversation about how he was such an ass to me and my friends and basically everyone back in the winter, basically i bitched him out (gently) and the next day we hung out at disneyland and talked for hours about everything, and the next thing i know, he's literally begging me to give him another chance...oh course I do, cuz within even one day he seemed to change for the better...i hope he stays this way...anyhoo...must go watch Sydney make out with his royal hotness, as they slip into the horizontal mambo, if you get my point...
current mood:  jubilant
current music: Freedom...George Michael
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| Wednesday, February 13th, 2002
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8:07 am - My puppy is chewing on my toes
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I need to send him to some obidience camp where they stun gun him or something...use a cattle prod...i'm so psyched to get Dave tickets this weekend...i really hope i get good seats...i talked to Mel from Stanford yesterday...totally cool that i'm getting to see all these people from camp...Jeff, Doug, Mel, Jesse...i get my oceaograohy exam grades back today...i hope i did well...we're talking about stars and the big band and stuff...which has absolutely jack to do with the ocean, but whatever...work is so exhausting!!! i have to sort thru over 700,000 orders and their forms...and put them in numerical order, then go through 3 boxes of those...then multiply that by 4 for the other sales reps...uhhh!!! my back hurts like a mother...i stepped in this huge mud puddle yesterday and looked like a total dork...thsi dude was all like, "gee, that sucks..too bad for you" i mean he said that to my face...i wanted to sock him in the nose and see how much that would suck...what an ass...i'm so excited for boston/wusster/new york!!! note to self: bring 10 rolls of film...i really hope my hair grows out cuz i hate it short...getting 18 inches chopped off was the biggest mistake ever...although, dating certain guys rank down there too
current mood:  awake
current music: Hitchin' a Ride...Green Day
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| Wednesday, February 6th, 2002
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3:43 pm - woah...haven't seen you in a while
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i've been missing in action for a while...but now i'm back!!!
current mood:  bouncy
current music: The Middle...Jimmy East World
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| Saturday, September 15th, 2001
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11:57 am - Maybe it's better this way
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I finally broke down and started sobbing about Jordan after all this emotion and pain from the past kicked in. I caleld him up and he seemed kinda uninterested, but then again that's Jordan. He talked about homecoming, and me being a girl, completely overanalyzed it, thinking that if he was thinking about homecoming, and he knew the date, which meant that he was thinking about the dance and a date. I just couldn't stand being forced to go through what I went with Geoff. I wanted Lisa and Rendy to watch over him for me, but then I realized, I have to let him go. The reason I clung onto Geoff was because I couldn't let him go. I wrote to Jeff in North Carolina with my problem, and he has been such a sweetie with talking me out of beating myself up with emotions. He even called and we talked for a long time. Here's an excerpt of what he said in an email:
"Alrighty, take a deep breath. It?s really hard to do, but you?ve got to remember that Jordan isn?t making you feel pain, you hurt because you can?t be with him. So first things first: It?s not his fault. If you keep telling yourself that, you won?t hate him. Things between Vikki and I were weird for a while, but it slowly became normal. It takes time and patience (both are very hard to deal with, I know!) There was a while where I though Vikki hated me, and was not exactly feeling kind towards her (well, in fact I really hated her then). I later learned that she didn?t when she randomly came over just to talk, something that nobody who hated me would do. At that point things became normal. Anyway, you?re not really alone! If you absolutely need someone to talk to, call me! Anytime!" Isn't he the sweetiest dude ever? I totally wish that we could hang out even if it was for a day. I haven't seen him in over a year, but it still feels like we've been together through everything, because we have, through thick and thin. I think that all the events that have happened, both the attacks, moving and Jordan, have caused me to mix all my emotions together and realize that life does go on, but just not as planned. Life is a road, but we all have speed bumps that we slow down at.
current mood:  crushed
current music: Grace is Gone...Dave Matthews Band
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| Thursday, August 30th, 2001
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12:19 pm - Numb
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I really don't how I'm feeling right now...kinda numb...shocked...sad...depressed...Jordan decided to call it off because he thought that a long distance wouldn't work, the day before I was leaving. I mean, if you're gonna break up with me, at least don't lie for the past month that we've known I'm leaving and then wait till the day before I leave to tell me. I kept my hopes up till that day,andnow I feel as if I've been dropped from a 10 story building into a water filled pit and drowning. I keep on hoping that maybe we could try, but it doesn't look like it. I don't believe I'm as sad as I could be, ut I don't think the shock has settled in yet. So far only Rendy knows, and I'm hoping she can keep it quiet. Jordan and I had a great 8 months together, but now it's gonna be hard to fall in love again cuz I'm deadly afraid of losing again. If people keep changing places, how can one couple last? I knew that being apart would be hard, and that I shouldn't start a relationship with Jordan back in the fall, but I wasn't looking, and I found him. It was extra special, not just a fling, but I felt so comfy around him. He was my best friend and will always be. I hate to sound cheesy and girly, but I could seriously see us together for a while...but would never want to scare him off by telling him. Ug...i feel so yucky right now...I definately need to talk to Katie right now...if only I had her frickin' phone number.
current mood: lonely
current music: Crash...Dave Matthews Band
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| Friday, August 24th, 2001
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6:23 pm - Me...a college student?
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Eeps! I'm so nervous to start school next week...especially since I'll be missing the first few days...Captain Mike said that my Bio prof would be cool cuz he know him...Kinda nervous, than my book won't come in on time...damnit it better, cuz i need it before i go to classes...i totally spent way too much moola today, buying a corset and stocking from victoria's, a bag & clothes from sears, face brush & body butter from the body shop, and one other thing....plus i got my brows waxed again today...mega ouch! I can't wait to see who's picking me up from the airport...rendy was suposed to, but she had polo, so i bet it's brett...maybe jord will be there!
current mood: excited
current music: Dancing Queen...Ateens
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| Saturday, August 18th, 2001
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6:28 pm - Snorkeling
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I went on my annual snorkleing trip today, but not to Catalina, but to San Clemente...totally cold water..brr...but i did catch (and release) 12 fish!!! And i've never even fished in my life! Plus at the second dive spot, this guy who was right next to me saw 3 sharks, and I saw 1...the biologist said they were leopard sharks, but they weren't spotted, so they had to be either mako or something else...they totally looked like your typical rip your arm off TV shark...after that, i swam back to the boat!
current mood:  content
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| Saturday, August 4th, 2001
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7:40 pm - Moving
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Getting ready to movehas pretty much sucked, and my back hurts from packing. I guess that when school was over, the fact that everyone would be leaving didn't seem like that much of a big deal, but now that I'm leaving myself, it's kind hit me that all of us are never gonna be in the same room together until the reunion in 10 years...I'm kinda pissed that Jordan left for Poulsbo, forgetting that we were supposed to hang out this weekend, and I was totally pumped to tell him that I've leaving and everything...I really hope he at least wants to give a long distance relationship a shot...I know I'll be 200% loyal, but I don't know if I can trust him enough...Rendy and Grant also cancelled on me...the 2nd time I've been stood up in a week...I'm getting kinda psyched to move though, a new city (not really), new friends, new school, new job, sun, surf and the beach here I come!!!
current mood:  nostalgic
current music: I Turn to You...Melanie C
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| Thursday, July 12th, 2001
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3:38 pm - Cankor sores can really put a damper on your relationship with pineapples!
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I'm sitting at work and I haven't checked up on this site in ages so here I am! School's finally out and I graduated, so that's like a whole bag of bricks lifted off my shoulders...I'm excited to see Caity and Chels tomorrow and for Papa John's Pizza tonite with Bubblebutt and Chris.
current mood:  giggly
current music: I'm a Believer...Smash Mouth
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| Monday, June 4th, 2001
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1:05 am - Ok...you can come out of your shell now, I've cooled off
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I feel much better since last friday...even though I still think that Sanford is a complete ass and I'm totally ready to make fun of him when we see the video...part of me wants to really bitch him out and punch his lights out...the other wants to just pour a big bucket of frog testicles into his throat...sheesh, well that was good anger management. I might actually graduate this year...yeah! We got our yearbooks today and there are so many scary pics of me in there!!! Jeff Byrnes and everybody from Stanford camp is there in my quote!!! We heard Brian E's song from his CD in block class during his senior presentation...he was sooo good...It makes me sick that everybody (namely Emily Schnoor and Jessica Myre) brough so many pictures of themselves. EWewewwew!
current mood: optimistic
current music: Fields of Gold...Sting
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| Saturday, June 2nd, 2001
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10:23 am - Does anyone have a knife I could borrow??!!!!
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AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I can't believe it! I spent so many countless hours working on that damn video and got so much rushed help from Will and John...and then at the banquet, Sanford is such an ass!!!! He didn't bring any wires or help me in anyway to figure out how to present the actual movie...I can't believe he takes credit for all this and didn't help in one bit...I HATE HIM!!!!!
current mood:  infuriated
current music: Rock is Dead (and so is Sanford)...Marilyn Manson
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| Friday, June 1st, 2001
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12:31 pm - Hooray for Me!
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I hate to be egotistical...but I finally got this damn video finished...and only 5 hours before the frickin banquet...at least Bix won't chew me up! Tim joined livejournal...yeah!!!
current mood: hopeful
current music: Celebration...Kool & the Gang
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| Thursday, May 31st, 2001
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2:04 am - I was feeling ucky
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but now I'm uppidty buppidty cuz I just heard one of my all time uplifting songs: Faith Hill's This Kiss. It totally reminds me of Practical Magic and of Jord.I'm in such a rush for this frickin video. I hope I actaully get it done...good thing Diana has a digital camera, cuz it would've taken 4 more hours for those pictures...hom hum...Anyone who hasnt seen SHREK...SEE IT!!! Do you know the Muffin man? The muffin man? Yes the muffin man...
current mood:  rushed
current music: This Kiss...Faith Hill
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| Monday, May 28th, 2001
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10:10 pm - ug...me jane, you apeboy
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Do you ever get that feeling that you're a total failure? yeah, well welcome to my life. The problem is, I've got my own mother telling me I'm a complete failure everyday of my life. If that isn't a pick-me-up, I don't know what is. I'm still confused about the moving situation. Chris thinks I should move on, Katie thinks I should stay and Siri sorta gave me a weird, non-judgemental answer...I wish I could just move to Africa and live on my own among the elephants. Wow, as if that didn't sound weird enough, now I'm crying for who knows what reason...oooh..that new Backstreet Boys song is playing...I love this song.
current mood: rejected
current music: Leaving on a Jetplane...Chantal Kreviazuk
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3:56 pm - aaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
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I so need to get off my butt and start cleaning my room...but I'm so addicted to this stupid computer that I can't move! I'm so stuck in between this miniature battle going in my head...someone help me!!! My mom have never been and never will be close, and I really rather go live with my dad down in California after I graduate. But Jordan, my absolute true love is here for another 2 years, and I don't know if I should stay or go. I know that Jordan is not the only reason I should stay: a great job, good connections, and easy living. But in California, there's a chance for a fresh new start. There's no way to tell what will happen to me and Jord in the future, and I don't know what to do!!! Chris says I should pick up and leave, but Chris is dumb and doesn't even like relationships...AAAGGhh!! I hate life!
current mood: frustrated
current music: Here with Me...Dido
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1:07 pm - Reflection on Prom
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Prom was a blast...we got a limo..I had a feeling we would...dinner was excellent at the Newcastle Golf Club...after dinner we went to Illusions to see a cool magic show...some of the stuff they do up there is so confusing and cool! Then we went to the dance...Brian, Geoff & Eric were all there. Geoff kept staring at me...that's right you freak, that's what you get for being such an ass and treating me like crap...Brian saw me with Jord while we were taking our pics...and I don't think Eric saw me. I felt so good and hot in my gold dress and my hair up in a tiara. I knew I had the best dress there. Jordan told me later that every place we went to, everyone said that I was the most gorgeous girl they ever saw. I don't know if it was true or not, but it sure was really nice of him to say. We got lots of looks from the people at the restaurant and at Illusions. Jord looked really hot in his Mandarin-collared tux with deep maroon vest. He even got me a corsage with not 1, but 2 gardenias! After the dance, we went to Jord's place and watched movies (Army of Darkness & Drunken Master). I obviously fell asleep in Jord's arms on the floor. I later fell asleep in his brother's bed, that thing is sooo comfty...and he woke me up the next morning by laying next to me in bed with his arms wrapped around my waist and kissing my back. He is a total cutie! I am sooo in love with Jord!!! His mom made really god french toast with bacon and watermelon. I think we all had a total blast the entire night, and Rendy didn't turn out to be that bad. I just can't believe that I actually went to something that I had been dreaming about since I was little!
current mood: mellow
current music: River of Dreams...Billy Joel
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| Friday, May 25th, 2001
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1:08 pm - Senior Skip Day!!!
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I'm so bad! It's senior skip day and i'm cutting my block class and Russia test! Oooohhh...devilish...I was thinking about Jordan and how cute he is...I'm helping Katie's mom with Ari's pool party today after school, so I'm hanging around the pool until she comes to pick me up...I'm so pathetic...it's my day off and where am I? at work...sheesh...I saw Geoff with Julia today and they both just totally disgust me!!! But Jordan and Brian sure are hotties!!!
current mood: weird
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8:18 am - Prom's Tomorrow!
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OMG! I am so stoked! But I'm still left in confusion cuz Jord's picking me up around 4...kinda early, I have no clue what we're gonna do for 5 hours until the dance...We're all meeting at Grant's place, which would mean that we're getting a limo?! I hope! My dress is so gorgeous! Maybe I'll put a picture of it on here for you. I had this strange and scary dream last night that's been a repeating theme for the past week: we just moved into a new house (although it's my old NB house), and mom is being such a bitch that she won't let Munchkin (my old puppy)out of a bag in the closet until I do stuff, although I have no clue what it is. Then finally she tells me that Munchkin died and then Mike drives me home. Pretty scary and depressing!
current mood:  confused
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